God I can’t make it through another night.
Will everything be okay?
These are the thoughts that trickled into my mind as I tried to fall asleep.
I was worrying about this or that, stuck in the past, but actually terrified to take any steps forward.
Should I get up? What am I avoiding?
Sometimes, I would feel anxiety at night. It would come and try to make itself home in my head, plant lies like weeds in my heart.
But then morning would come, and everything would feel fresh.
“What was I so worried about?” I wondered.
See my perspective had shifted while I was sleeping. The daunting night had actually given light to a new day. Sunlight streamed into my heart.
A popular Christian song sometimes plays in my mind. I hum the lyrics,
When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
God doesn’t always answer my prayers the way I want Him to.
It’s tragic, sometimes I just don’t know what to think about the things that hurt. That sting. How did those situations help me again God?
But it is in those beautiful places that flowers blossom.
Blossoms of change, of purpose, of compassion.
I grow and seasons change.
In fact, I have grown so much from having depression. From feeling comparison. From feeling hopelessness.
God had a plan for me all along.
But in those hard moments, I couldn’t see it. I didn’t understand it. That is what is so beautiful and mysterious about God. He uses the good and the bad times to teach us, to produce fruit in our lives.
If you are in a rock and a hard place, turn to God. Ask Him in and
Don’t worry.
Beautiful things happen when we trust Him and His love.
Remember, He loves you.
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14